


Family Matters

by Seranna_Harkon



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Cullen had a much older sister, F/M, Multi, Rape, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 18,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seranna_Harkon/pseuds/Seranna_Harkon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen’s oldest sister turned out to be a mage and was taken away from the family. When Cullen wanted to become a templar, his parents didn’t stop him but showed worry. His sister was at Kinloch Hold before Cullen was assigned and was moved to Kirkwall when he was ordered there. She was sexually abused by Samson there and when the circles disbanded, she went home. The story picks up when Cullen gets a letter from his parents saying that he needs to come home now. (The first parts will be from Cullen’s Point of View and then switch over to his sister)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New one! Had this stuck in my head for a while. Updates for this one will be random....sorry... But hope you like it.
> 
> I'll be updating twice a month instead of every week because of all the stories I have now.
> 
> Beta reader is my new house mate, Ashley Houston. She doesn't have an account on here so I had to put her in the notes. She's also going to be my artist so you can comment on what you want drawings of and she'll get it done for y'all

I was running the recruits through the drills when a courier ran up to me.

“Commander? There is a letter from home. I was told to deliver it personally from your mother,” he gasped and breathed hard from running to him. I accepted the letter and turned to read it. 

Dear Cullen,

I know you have not been able to respond as often as we like, but something very urgent has come up and we need you home now. I raised you to take care of family and I know you have your issues with the things that happened at the circle here in Ferelden, but your family needs you and I expect you to be here within a few weeks of the courier’s return. If you’re not, we are all coming to Haven.

Your Mother.

“What happened?” I barked at the young boy in front of me. 

“Y-your mother said it was a family matter and to reply to her with your answer,” the boy stammered. I sighed and reread the letter. It was strangely ominous for my mother to be this cryptic. 

“Stay here for a day and I’ll send you with my reply in the morning,” I growled at him and turned back to the troops. He nodded and left to go to the village. First a woman falls out of the rift and now my family needs to see me? But I didn’t have time to think about it, I was late for a council meeting. I ran up to the Chantry and slowed to a walk out of respect.

“I am sorry I am late, Herald, Josephine, Leliana. I had an unexpected guest from my parents to deal with,” I explained on my way to my place on the other side of the table.

“Your family?” The Herald asked.

“Yes. Apparently, I need to be there in a few weeks or they’re coming here to give me or tell me what they need to,” I groaned. The Herald looked at me sternly.

“Then you have to go! Why are you here?” she looked at me confused.

“Herald-” I started but she would have none of it.

“My name is Ashana! And as someone who was just ripped away from their family and everything they know to help you shems, I am telling you to go!” she almost yelled. I looked at her shocked and Josephine tried to hide herself in her board. Leliana looked mildly surprised and smiled a little bit.

“Ahsana...What we have before us is a very difficult task. The forces-”

“The forces can be handled by you second in command, Cullen. As the Herald of Andraste, I am ordering you to go see your family. I mean, what if something happened to one of them?” She looked at me with sorrow and recognition in her eyes.

“You should go, commander. The forces here will be alright with our you for a few days,” Leliana spoke up and smiled at me.

“And you could have your second in command at the meetings while you're gone. Everything here will be fine,” Josephine cut in. I knew from growing up in a house mostly of girls not to argue with them. I left the room and went to find the boy who gave me the letter. 

“Curly? Why do you get to leave the meetings early?” Varric called out to me. I turned to see him smiling and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I’m on orders from all the ladies in the war room to go see my family. My mother wrote me a letter and won’t tell me what’s wrong,” I grounded out. Varric’s smirk was wiped from his face.

“I hope that it is not to serious,” Varric seriously commented and turned to the fire. I went to the tavern and saw the boy sitting and eating. He stood up when I came in. I went to him.

“When you’re done eating, go tell my mother that I am on my way,” I sighed as he nodded and sat back down to eat.

This is going to be a long visit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Cullen’s oldest sister. The one no one knew about.....

I arrived in the early afternoon. My mother was on the porch, sweeping. I brought my horse up coughed since she was turned away from me. She turned to see me and gasped as she dropped her broom and ran to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and cried. I wrapped one arm around her and patted her back as she cried. When she was done, she pulled back and looked me over. 

“My, how you've grown, Cullen!” she cried out. “Bradford! You son is home!” she called into the house. 

“Why would father be in the house? He's usually out with the animals,” I finished speaking as he came out. 

“That's what we need your help with. We should discuss this inside. Come one, Marie.” Father held his hand out to my mother and she took it as she lead me inside. We sat at the table and I waited patiently for them to continue. 

“Cullen. We raised you to know that family comes first. Do you still believe that?” mother started. 

“Of course mother. I’ve just been so busy I haven't been able to write back or visit. What's this about?” I asked, starting to get concerned.

“You’ve never met her, but you have an older sister,” father started.

“You mean Mia? I grew up with her-”

“We don’t mean her, Cullen.” Mother reached across the table and grabbed my hands.

“Then who?” I asked as I looked back and forth between them.

“We had her before we were married. She’s the reason we were married. She is also a mage.” Father looked right in my eyes as he spoke. Blood drained from my face when he said she was a mage.

“Mia was just born when she discovered her magic. Someone from her school came by for the afternoon and started to pick on Mia. Cecilia lost her temper. The boy was set on fire from nowhere. Luckily they were outside and he jumped into the pond, even though he had some bad burns,” mother spoke softly and with a little pride.“She was taken shortly after. She fought every step. I’m happy that she had a few of the nice templars come get her. They let her bring some things from home. She favorite stuffed bunny, her favorite book, and I wrote a few recipes from home for her to make when she was older.”

“The last we saw her was her being carried away by one of the templars. She was crying and screaming,” father broke in. I didn’t know how to respond. To have my oldest sister taken away before any of us got to see her.

“Where is she now?” I whispered. What if she never got out of the circle alive? What if the templars made her tranquil?

“She’s here, but her mind is broken. She’s not tranquil, but….it’s like she’s not really there.” mother whispered.

“What do you mean?” I spoke up, a bit harsh.

“She has new wounds. Some you can see, some you can’t. You were a templar, Cullen. Surely you know what some of your brothers-in-arms did to their charges?” my father accused. I cursed and looked down at the table. 

“Where is she?” I asked quietly.

“She’s in Mia’s old room. I’ll take you to her,” mother spoke up as she stood. I followed her to the room.

“Now you do not mention that you were a templar yet. She’ll be to scared. Be kind. Her emotional state is that of a child,” mother whispered to me as she knocked and slowly opened the door.

“Cecilia? Someone is here to see you,” she called out and motioned for me to come in. She closed the door behind her and I turned to see my oldest sitting on the bed looking up at me. A little bit of surprise in her eyes at seeing me, too. She had wavy, short blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Her skin was very pale and she looked like a grown woman wearing circle robes.

“Hello. My name is Cullen. I’m your younger brother,” I started, not knowing how else to start.

“My name is Cecilia. I am no longer of the circle,” she spoke with mostly a monotone voice, making me have to resist the urge to flinch.

“How are you feeling?” I asked as I slowly stepped forward. Her eyes followed me.

“I feel fine. It’s warmer here than I remember,” she spoke softly and her voice was kind.

“It is? It’s soon to be winter.” 

“I like the winter. The snow outside looks beautiful. I wonder what it feels like.”

“It’s cold, but soft and fluffy. I’m sure you’ll have fun in it,” I smiled as I thought of Branson and I building a snowman.

“It never snowed where I was from.”

“Which circle were you at?”

“I was here in the Ferelden circle for a time. But they made me move because of one of the new templars coming in. I lived in the Kirkwall circle for most of my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I feel the need to create characters tof ruin their lives. Please leave comments!


	3. Chapter 3

I looked down at the woman who was my sister in shock. She was in Kirkwall? 

“H-how long?” I stammered, still dazed. 

“I was there from when I was 10 to when I was 20. Then I had to be transferred again to Ostwick. They never told me why, but I was glad to go,” she spoke softly and smiled at the end. 

“Why were you glad to leave?” I asked quietly. I wanted to reach over and grab her hand but I resisted. I didn’t know her well enough or how she would react. 

“The stone walls always made it seem cold and being outside only reminded me that I couldn’t ever leave. Soon after I arrived this templar, Samson, saw me and thought I was pretty. Once, he made me come to his quarters and forced me to do things. I was going to tell the First Enchanter, but he said that I would be made tranquil if I so much as uttered a word,” she spoke calmly and softly. Her voice wavered just a bit and I saw a tear fall down her face. I reached forward and pulled her into a hug. She stiffened a bit but relaxed in my grip as she finally cried. 

“It’s not your fault. None of what happened is not your fault, Cecilla. No one is going to hurt you anymore. I’ll protect you,” I whispered as she cried. 

“Why would you protect me? You don’t even know me,” he sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

“Because family protects family. I’m your younger brother, Cullen. I will protect you for the rest of my life.”

“You’re my brother?” she whispered as she slowly looked up at me and studied my face. I smiled and held my hand out for her to take. She looked at it and then back at me. She slowly put her hand in mine and lightly clutched it. 

“I will protect you. You’re going to come with me for a while to a very safe place. No one will touch you, without my permission.” I spoke calmly and closed my hand around hers. She slowly nodded and stood up with me. I led her into the family room where mama and father were waiting. Cecilla let go of my hand as mama hugged her. Father came by and pulled me aside.

“You know you’ll have to watch her?” he whispered.

“I know. Is she used to being outside in the open?” I whispered back.

“No. She says she has never been outside for long periods of time. If she sees a templar she’ll do one of two things, Cullen. She’ll freeze up or run. If she runs, you need to be ready to get her. She has strange magic, son. I don’t think it was taught to her and it just comes natural to her. You need to help her control it from time to time.”

“Why? What is so special about her magic?”

“It’s connected to her emotions. If she is scared, I can’t promise you everyone will make it out alive. But I’ve seen her fight bandits. It’s pure power. I’ve never seen a massacre like that before, Cullen. Make sure she understands who is a friend and who is not.”

“Cullen, she’s ready to leave,” mother spoke as they came over. I grabbed Cecilla’s hand and pulled her into a hug. She responded by lightly wrapping her arms around my neck and buried her face in it. When she pulled away, father patted her head and kissed her cheek, making her smile and mama gave her a book of some sort. She smiled and nodded as she accepted it. 

“Are you ready?” I asked her kindly and when she nodded, I moved her to the door.

“Where are we going?” she asked when we closed the door behind her.

“Somewhere where no one will hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments and Kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the chapters will be from Cecilia's point of view unless said otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switched the romance from Iron Bull/Dorian to Iron Bull/Original Character because I thought he could help her with what happened to her. Sorry to all of the Iron Bull/Dorian fans! I love that too. They're in other stories of mine!

When we arrived at Haven I noticed all the people around. There are horses near a place with black smoke coming out of it. I looked up at the horses. There was one that wasn’t a horse though. It was like a deer but with bigger antlers and it was huge. I left Cullen and walked over to it. It looked at me and brought it’s head down to me. I reached out and pet it. It made a noise and moved closer to me. I giggled and stretched it harder. 

“I think he likes you,” someone with a deep voice spoke behind me. It wasn’t Cullen. I slowly turned around and saw a large chest even with my face. It was grey and had a lot of scars on it. I slowly looked up to see a very large man with horns coming out of the top of his head. One eye was covered by an eye patch and he was smiling until he saw my horrified expression. He took a step back and held up his hands to show that he didn’t have an weapons. 

“Who are you?!” I meant to whisper or at least talk normally but it came out high-pitched and squeaky. I back up against the rail that held the giant deer inside and the large man didn’t move. Suddenly the railing gave out and I fell into the snow. He stepped forward to help me up, making me whimper and try to get away. 

“Get away from her!” I heard a familiar voice call out. I looked up to see the stranger backing away and Cullen running up to me. I reached out to him like a child and he picked me up and carried me into the town. I saw a lot of people rush around me but I’m guessing that’s because Cullen was moving so fast. Within minutes I was in a very large place that was suddenly warm. I was put into a chair in front of another woman who had black haired tied in a bun and she wore a dress that was made out of gold and dark blue. 

“Commander? What is the-” she began but Cullen interrupted her.

“She stays with you for now. I don’t want her terrorized more than just now,” he growled at her and left the room. I sat there staring at the door. Then I slowly turned to face the woman in front of me. She looked confused but smiled at me when she turned her gaze.

“Well then. I’ve never seen our commander in such a rage before. He brought you in here. Do you know what caused this?” she asked kindly. 

“He brought me here from our parents’ house because templars were there. I got distracted from a huge deer looking animal in the pens and went to pet it. Some man that was huge and grey with horns surprised me and I guess I had a panic attack. Then Cullen brought me here.” I answered as monotone as I could but my voice shook a little when I mentioned the man.

“Grey man? Oh. You meen Iron Bull. The herald brought him and his mercenary company here to aid the Inquisition.” She paused for a moment and looked like she just realized something. “He brought you from both of your parent’s home?” I nodded. 

“I was born several years before Mia. I was taken to the Circle when I was around six. Our parents never told the others about me because it was to painful for them to discuss.”

“Oh. So you were what the letter meant by family comes first. So you're his sister?” she asked as a smile formed on her face. 

“Yes. Even though I’ve had some of the mages at the tower look at my mind. They said that I am emotionally developing slow. So even though I’m in my thirties, I have the emotional mind of teenager.” I looked away for a minute and closed my eyes. When I looked back up the woman looked sad for me and got up to come around. She pulled me into a hug and rocked me side to side.

“We’ll take care of you. Everyone here is a family,” she spoke as she pulled away and I smiled slightly when she kissed my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of Josie being the mother figure in this one.... It'll be interesting with her opinion of Iron Bull....


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!

I was surprised that she hugged. I could still feel the kiss on my forehead when she sat down.

“You lived your whole life in the tower? I’ve never got to ask someone who has lived there,” she explained as she went back to reading the paper she had before. I stared at her for a moment.

“My experience was not as good as others. I lived in three different circles. The first was the circle in Ferelden for obvious reasons. It’s where I was born. The third was the best. The templars were kinder there.” I paused and took a breath, making Josephine look up at me in question. “The second….was the worst of my experiences. I was in Kirkwall for years. Most of my life, in fact,” I trailed off and I heard the woman across from me gasp.

“You don’t have to go into detail. I would understand now why your emotional state is behind. If you would like, we could have an updated opinion though,” she spoke softly and surely. I looked up at her in confusion and she smiled again. “We have many doctors here and few of them can talk about the mind. But, Solas is able. I think he is best suited for it in fact. He is very educated, surprisingly and you may feel more comfortable in the presence of another mage.” She finished happily and got up from her chair. 

“You don’t have to do this. I-I know where I am…” I tried to stop her but she just smiled and grabbed my hand. 

“It’s always nice to be sure. And I’m sure you haven’t seen much snow where you’ve been,” she pulled me out of her office and into the large hallway from before.

“Cullen would want me to stay in the room with you,” I tried to stay in. I didn’t want to risk seeing the big strange man again. 

“But, I’m sure Cullen wouldn’t want you to be alone. So if I leave the room, so do you,” she seemed pleased with herself as she finished. I thought it over and I could see that way of thinking and I didn’t want to be alone. I nodded and she loosened her grip on my hand but didn’t let go. Soon we were in front of a cabin and Josephine knocked. An elf with piercing blue eyes and no haired opened the door and seemed surprised to see her.

“I did not expect to see you, Lady Ambassador. To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked politely. 

“Solas you are an expert of the mind or so you’ve said, correct?” she asked with a smile.

“I have said that I am an expert of the fade. Although the fade comes from the mind so I suppose what you said is correct. Why?” he asked slowly.

“Because I need your help in assessing a friend of mine. Her other doctors said that she is emotionally behind. I want to know by how much and a general overview of why,” she explained. She stepped aside and gently pushed me forward. I walked up to me cautiously and looked over at Josephine in fear. She just smiled and Solas looked surprised when I looked back at him. 

“Is this necessary, Ambassador?” he asked as he stepped aside to let me in. Josephine pushed me into the room playfully and Solas caught me and looked up in surprise at her.

“Yes,” she answered cheerfully and closed the door, shutting us two in alone. Solas helped me up and set me down in a chair. After a few moments of silence, Solas spoke up.

“Do you know what she was talking about?” he asked softly.

“She wants me to share my experiences in the circle with someone. I don’t know why,” I whispered and he nodded once.

“Normally, it’s easier to share hard experiences with someone you trust so perhaps we should get to know each other better?” he suggested but I shook my head. 

“I don’t want to share something like this with someone who will become a close friend. I wouldn’t be able to look at them the same,” I whispered the last part and Solas leaned forward to cup my hands in his.

“Nothing we say will leave this room. Josephine probably just wanted you to talk to someone,” he explained.

“So you won’t tell Cullen?” I ask quietly. He nods his head in confirmation.

“Unless your life is in danger, no one will know your past unless you tell them.” I nod. He continued, “Where do you want to start?” he asked calmly.

“I want to start when I first arrived in Kirkwall.”


	6. Chapter 6

Solas sat across from me, holding my hands in his, and waiting patiently. I stared down at our hands and clutched to him hard.

“I was about twelve when I first arrived in Kirkwall. I know I was past puberty and developing when I arrived on the shore. The first thing I saw was the chains. Then a templar came up to me, I couldn’t see his face because he was in full helm. He bowed and put his hand on my upper back to push me forward. I think he thought that I would run. I was to scared, not knowing the city and all,” I began and my breathing picked up. Solas’s thumbs rubbed my hands in circles.

“Go on, Da’len. I’m listening,” he murmured softly. I looked up at him and his eyes showed kindness and his smile showed sympathy. I nodded and continued. 

“We got my quarters set up and he left me in there. I didn’t know that the rules were stricter there than in Ferelden. I left to see what was outside. Another templar was in the hall and called out to me. He was taller and I am and had brown haired and greyish eyes. He looked as though he hasn’t shaved in a few days, so he had a stubble from his sideburns across the lower part of his face. He asked me if I was a troublemaker and I answered no. That I just wanted to go outside. He didn’t believe me. He said that I was breaking the rules and that I had to be punished. I told him that I was new and didn’t know that I couldn’t leave the room. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the hallway and across a large area outside. No one stopped us and he grabbed shoved me into a room that had a bed and a dresser. Not much else. He asked me how new I was and I said that I arrived that day. He smiled and pushed me down onto the bed and started to undo his armor,” my voice trailed off into a whisper and my breath caught as I tried to stop tears from falling. Solas murmured elvish words that I couldn’t make out. I felt warm radiate from his hands and warm mine, which were becoming cold. “I started to scream for help and he slapped me hard. I fell off the bed and onto the floor. I can still feel it. It left a large red mark on my face. He finished removing his outer armor until he was just wearing his pants and an undershirt. He grabbed me by the hair and dragged me back up onto the bed. He flipped me over so I was on my stomach and he put his knee on the small of my back to keep me down. He told me to….to shut my cock sucking mouth and keep quiet. That I was going to do everything he wanted to he’d make me tranquil and use me then anyway. The next thing I knew, I my robe was lifted up and my smalls were uncovered. I tried to get away. I did everything I could. I squirmed, struggled, tried to crawl away, and even tried to kick him. I couldn’t get out from under his knee and he slapped my ass just as hard as he did my face. I squealed in surprise and tried harder. He slapped me again and said that I liked it. That it was making me wet. I don’t know what he meant, even know,” i whispered the last part and shook my head in confusion. “He ripped off smalls and shoved his fingers inside of me and moved them in and out roughly, making me whimper, which made him laugh. He stretched me and after a while he pulled his fingers out. Then,” my voice breaks off and a sob escapes my mouth as I try to hold the rest in. Solas leaned in and hugged me. I clung to him as the rest of the story. “He brought my hips up and he thrusted into me hard! He went back and in over and over again. He kept going and going, even with my begging him to stop. Eventually he finished because I felt something shoot up into me. He pulled out and got off the bed. I didn’t have the energy to move and just laid there for what felt like forever. Then he grabbed my hair again and yanked me off of the bed. He held me up at my full height and then shoved a disgusting drink down my throat. I had to swallow to choke. I felt sick afterwards and had to fight not to vomit. Then he shoved me out of his room and told me that if I told anyone about his visit that no one would believe and he would share me with his friends as punishment,” I finished and cried into Solas’s shoulder. I don’t know how long I was in there with him before there was a knock on his door. He softly set me down in a chair and went to answer the door. 

“Solas, I’ve been told that you have my sister?” I heard Cullen at the door and went over to it. Solas stepped aside and let him come in. As soon as he saw me he came forward and wrapped me in his arms. I clung to his furry coat and he stroked my back. 

“I was worried when I went to see Josephine and you weren’t there,” he whispered. I sobbed against him and Cullen held me tighter. 

“Commander, I need to speak with you. Alone. Might I suggest the Leliana look after her for a few moments?” Solas interrupted. Cullen nodded and escorted me out of the cabin. He brought me to a woman in a tent right outside of the Chantry. 

“Leliana?” he called. A woman with a hood covering her face came out and smiled when she saw us.

“Cullen! You’re back!” she called as she reached us. “Who’s this?” 

“This is my sister, Cecilla. Cecilla, this is Leliana. She’s going to watch over you for a few minutes while I talk to Solas. Is that alright?” he asked calmly. I nodded and looked back at the woman, She smiled at me as she pulled me from Cullen’s arms and hugged me. 

“Hello, Cecilla! I suppose I’ll be looking after you since our Commander has so graciously volunteered me,” she spoke with an accent that I couldn’t place. I forced a smile and she led me into the tent. “So what is your connection with our dear Commander?” she asked as she helped me sit down on a crate.

“I’m his oldest sister. Our parents never told him about me because it was to painful,” I explained. She looked interested and smiled.

“So you’re a mage?” I nodded. “That’s funny isn’t it?” she chuckled.

“What’s funny?” I asked confused.

“That you’re a mage and Cullen was a templar,” she explained like it was obvious. 

“Cullen’s a templar?”   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I arrived back at Solas’s cabin and knocked. He answer quickly and let me inside.

“What is this about Solas? I want to make sure Cecilla is settled in soon,” I grumbled at him.

“I understand but you should know that Josephine asked me to evaluate her mental state for you,” Solas explained.

“She did what?” he asked, now angry.

“I am assuming that Cecilla told her that she was evaluated at the circle.”

“So?” I asked after a while of silence. 

“She is unstable and in need of therapy. There is also something you need to know but I promised her I wouldn’t say. She can’t be alone and she’ll be skittish around men for the rest of her life, probably. She’ll need help for the rest of her life unless she gets help.” Cullen nodded.

“I guess it would be pretty important for her to stay away from the training grounds then. Also, that I was a templar,” I mumbled as I left.


	7. Chapter 7

I stared in shock at Leliana. She cocked her head at me in confusion.

“You didn’t know he was a templar?” she asked slowly. I shook my head and looked down at my hands. “I shouldn't have mentioned it then. I’m sure he has his reasons from wanting to keep it from you,” she rushed on and I just nodded. “He is a good man, Cecilla,” she finished and took my hands in hers. I looked up at her and she just smiled. I nodded, trying to understand that a templar could be good. 

“How long has he been a templar?” I asked. She moved her head side to side like she was counting years. 

“He was a templar during the blight until about a year ago so, perhaps a little over thirteen years,” she concluded. 

“That long?” I wondered out loud. Maker must know what he thinks of me being his sister. A mage of all things, someone he might have to put down as an animal.

“Are you alright, Cecilla?” Leliana asked me after a few moments. 

“Yes, I’m fine. I just want to be alone,” I spoke as I stood, but swayed on my feet.

“Cullen doesn’t want you by yourself and you don’t look well,” she pointed out as she grabbed my hand. I ripped my hand out of hers.

“I said I’m fine!” I practically yelled. I took a deep breath. “I won’t leave the town. I just want to be alone,”I spoke as I left the tent. She didn’t come after me as I expected her to. I didn’t go by Solas’s cabin to get down the stairs. Cullen was there and I didn’t want to deal with a templar right now. I went the other was when I was stopped by a dwarf.

“Hey there! Haven’t seen you around,” he spoke up. As I was going to walk past him he grabbed my arm and made me stop.

“What?” I growled out. I turned to face him but he didn’t seem scared at all.

“I was just wondering what went on between you and Tiny,” he explained. He didn’t let go of my arm until I sat down next him.

“Who’s Tiny?” I asked as he handed me a bowl of soup. He chuckled.

“It’s my nickname for that huge qunari out front. The one with the big horns and missing eye,” he elaborated. I looked at him confused until I remembered how he startled me and I screamed. I nodded slowly.

“He startled me. I was petting this huge deer and I didn’t hear him come up to me,” I answered as vague as possible. 

“Who are you? You’re a mage, I figured that much what with the robe.”

“I’m the Templar’s older sister,” I answered, looking away. 

“Which Templar? There’s more than one here?” he asked, looking at me intrigued. 

“Cullen’s,” I spoke with a dead tone and look right into the fire, ignoring his sound of surprise.

“The Commander Cullen? With the curly blonde haired?” he sounded surprised and shock was written on his face when I looked up at him.

“That’s the one. He yelled at me for a little under an hour about scaring her,” I heard the voice from the man before. I turned my head and saw the horns first and then the eye patch. “I didn’t mean to scare you earlier. I thought you would hear me. Not exactly quiet,” he apologized and sat down next to me. 

“I’m not used to seeing horns on a person before,” I respond and thought about how stupid of an answer that was. He laughed.

“Yeah? Kind of a Qunari thing. Comes with the height,” he joked as he got his share of soup. “You grew up in the circle so it’s no surprise that seeing one, even if you’ve heard of them, would be scaring.”

“I”m not a child,” I argued mushily. He patted my back.

“Didn’t say you were.”

“Anyway, Cullen isn’t a templar anymore. He left the order for the Inquisition,” Varric pipped up and I looked over at him in disbelief.

“It’s true. He doesn’t agree with what templars have been doing lately and he leads the soldiers here like any other army,” the Qunari spoke up, glaring at Varric who raised his hands in surrender. 

“Why did he leave?” I asked no one in particular but both of them seemed reluctant to answer.

“I think you should ask him that,” Varric spoke up after a while.

“Ask who what?” I heard Cullen behind me and when I looked over at him he was glaring daggers at Varric and the Qunari.


	8. Chapter 8

I blushed and looked down at my soup. 

“Oh, you know, how someone can’t keep their mouth shut,” the Qunari answered, not seeming very frightened of my brother. Varric on the other hand started to fidget. 

“And which of the two of you is that?” Cullen grabbed my upper arm and pulled me over the log putting me behind him.

“Varric is the one that brought up you being a templar,” the Qunari brought up.

“Tiny!” Varric hissed. 

“Bull!” Cullen yelled at the same time. “You told her Varric?” Cullen rounded on him.

“I didn’t say anything about it Curly! She’s the one that brought it up,” he explained. Cullen turned to me with a question on his face.

“Leliana told me. She thought I knew,” I whispered. Cullen looked like he was about to explode. I backed away from him when Bull stood up. 

“Cullen, perhaps I could take her for a while. You probably need to yell at Leliana and I’m sure you don’t want her to see that,” Bull stood behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up suddenly at the contact but relaxed after a moment. Cullen seemed torn but when he saw my face he relented and nodded. He walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. I waited a moment until I hugged him back. He relaxed a bit when I did. He pulled back after a few minutes.

“You’re going to be alright for a few minutes?” he asks, looking worried. When I nodded, he let me go and passed me to Bull. Bulled walked me out of the front gates and over to a set of tents to the left. Another man was standing there.

“Hey, Chief. Who’s the girl?” he asked as he bowed to me.

“This is the Commander’s older sister. Raised in the circles, I assume,” he looks to me and I nod. 

“Commander’s sister?” the other man turned to me. “Name’s Krem. Bull can be a pain in the ass, but he’s a good man.”

“Krem! Don’t swear in front of the lady. Cullen’ll have your head,” Bull shot back to him. Krem laughed.

“If that’s the case, are you sure you’re the one she should be around?” he smiled and made a face, making me giggle. Bull looked over at me with a funny face, making me laugh louder. 

“I can watch myself around her. She’s so sweet and shy. You’re type, Krem.” 

“I don’t think so, chief. Forgive me my lady, but I prefer women who are….shorter,” Krem explained. I smiled and giggled.

“It’s alright, Krem I would’ve hated to break your heart,” I replied and Bull let out a loud laugh while Krem chuckled. 

“Anyway, let’s get you out of the cold. My tent is warm enough for the both of us,” Bull started to push me into his tent.

“Play nice, Chief!” I heard Krem call out but I didn’t hear Bull’s reply. Once we entered the tent I was engulfed by heat and sighed happily.

“I’m sorry for practically screaming when we first met,” I mumbled and he chuckled. 

“Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have snuck on someone like you. When I first saw you, I knew you weren’t used to being outside.”

“What else do you know about me?” I asked while turning to face him.

“What do you think I should know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to take a week off. I'm so stressed out from school and writing four, working on five, stories. So I'm gonna just try to avoid writing or if I do, it won't be posted for about a week. Thank you everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

“There’s not much to someone like me,” I spoke softly and looked away slightly.

“You’re not as good a liar as you think you are,” he spoke calmly and sat down on the ground. 

“How good am I, then?” I asked looking a him. He cocked his head to the side as he steadied me.

“You’re better than most people. If you were addressing a group, I’d probably never notice it. But you're talking to me, alone. I made you scream earlier. I’m wondering why you suddenly trust me.” I looked him over and saw he was doing the same for me.

“I go where my brother tells me to go,” I answered. He shook his head.

“But he didn’t seem to happy about finding you with us,” he responded and patted a seat next to us.

“I wasn’t happy to find out he was a templar from someone other than himself,” I snap back and his eyebrow rose in surprise. 

“So why was he upset?” he changed his tactic. I scowled. 

“Our parents put him in charge of me. I am unfit to make decisions for myself,” I responded automatically and shivered in the memory it brought up. I remember Samson asking me how I was and me responding about how I was a stupid animal who couldn’t make to simpliest choice. At the end of the two year period, I might as well have been made tranquil. 

“I thought you were older than him,” Bull asked after a few minutes. I snapped out of the memory and looked at him with wide eyes before I could control myself. 

“I am, but he knows more about life outside the walls than I do,” I explained and he nodded, but didn’t seem to believe me wholly. He reached into his bag and pulled out a book.

“I found this and Krem wanted me keep it for him but I think he would want you to have it,” he spoke as he handed it me. I took it and looked at the cover. It was of different animals and when I opened it, I saw many chapters about different animals.

“How did you know I like animals?” I asked as I skimmed. 

“You don’t have know that now, I just thought it could help you get your mind off whatever it’s on now,” he explained and laid down on the cot. I started to read as soon as it seemed he was sleeping. I didn’t noticed that the sun was going down until I couldn’t read anymore. At least I was able to learn about Brontos and Deepstalkers. I clutched the book to chest and got up to leave. I looked down at Bull who was still sleeping and left the tent with a purpose. I practically ran into Krem, I think it was Krem, almost causing both of us to fall into the snow. 

“Are you alright there, Cecilla?” he asked as he helped steady me. I nodded and looked up at him.

“What does Bull like?” I asked. He looked shocked and a little embarrassed. 

“What do you mean?” he asked while shifting from foot to foot. 

“He gave me something that I like and I want to know what he likes so I can repay him,” I explained, showing him the book. He looked shocked that I had it, but didn’t mention anything about it being his like Bull told me. 

“I can find out what would be reachable from here for ya. I don’t know of anything now.” I nodded and looked down at the book. Krem wished me a goodnight and went into the tent next to Bull’s. 

“There you are!” I heard Cullen call for me and turned to see him. “Where were you?” he asked as he reached me.

“I was in Bull’s tent,” I explained and was shocked at his anger. I flinched and backed away. His eyes softened and he wrapped his arm around me and started walking away with me. 

“What’s in your hands?” he asked when we entered the town again. 

“Bull gave me a book to keep me busy.” I pulled it out and showed it to him. He took it and looked through it and smiled as he handed it back to me.

“You like animals?” he asked. I nodded.

“I never got to see one before a few days ago,” I mention and he nods.

“Solas goes out to search for plants when the Herald leaves him behind. Something's there are animals out there and I’ll let you go with him,” he spoke begrudgingly and I smiled at it. This place was starting to feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating for a week. I've been so stressed about updating once everyday so it'll just be once a week. Leave Kudos and Comments!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunkenness!!!

I woke up in a cabin with a fire already burning and warm. I sat up and looked around. It seemed like no one has been in here but me. I still don’t understand though because the last thing I remember was falling asleep in a tent. I got up and saw my book on the desk away from the bed and grabbed in. I left after I made sure I had everything and was braced by the cold air. I shivered and went outside. I looked around and saw the huge doors that lead to Bull’s tent and I realize that I haven’t seen anything out of the town because it was dark. I approach the gates and stopped by a guard. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The commander has said that you can’t leave the town for right now. Is there anything you need?” 

“Who’s the commander?” I asked, confused.

“Commander Cullen, ma’am. I’m sorry,” he clarified. 

“Cullen’s my brother,” I responded and he nodded.

“I know ma’am. I can send a message to him if you want,” he offered. I nodded.

“Tell him that I want to see him.” He nods and leaves through the gate. Another guard stood in front of me to prevent me from following. I saw Krem through the gate and waved at him before they closed. After a bit the doors opened again and the guard came back alone. 

“I’m sorry, but the commander is to busy to see you now. He says he will when lunch rolls around.” I sigh and turn to leave when the doors open again and Bull comes through. 

“You’re not allowed to leave?” he asked as we walked up the stairs. I nodded and he lead me to the tavern.

“I can’t drink,” I tell him as he sits and he pulls me to sit next to him.

“Have you ever drunk?” he asked as two mugs were placed on the table. I shook my head and he smirked. “Then you don’t actually know if you can drink, right?” he asked as he passed a mug. I took it and slowly brought it up to my mouth. I sipped at it and coughed for a bit after swallowing. 

“That tastes weird,” I say after setting it back down.

“It will for the first few times, but when you get used to it it’ll help make some things bearable because you’ll be with others.” He chugged his empty and got up to get another one. This one drink could make pain go away? It could help me forget? I picked it back up and smelled it. It smelled like wheat, barley, and alcohol. I drained the cup the same way that Bull and ended with a coughing fit. Suddenly there was a big hand patting the back of my back, helping me clear the rest of my lungs.

“I don’t recommend that until you’re an experienced drinker,” Bull joked and sat back down. He handed me another one and we drank well into the morning. I was laughing to loud and snickering to something Bull said when the door opened and Cullen came in. He looked around until he saw me and stalked over. I turned to Bull.

“You’re in trouble,” I whispered and he bent down to my ear level.

“Not as much as you are,” he whispered back and helped me up. When Cullen reached us, I was swaying on my feet and giggling like a child. 

“Why are you here?” he growled as he took me from Bull.

“He brought me here when you said you were to busy for your sister,” I hissed back and tried to get back to Bull. Cullen sighed tried to drag me away, but I was putting up a fight. I back head butted him and one of his arms let go of me and I drunkenly rushed back to Bull. He caught me right before I fall onto the table. 

“You don’t want to go with Cullen?” he asked as he held up upright. I shook my head and tried to wrap my arms around him, but couldn’t go all the way. He chuckled and picked me up like a child. “I got her Cullen. If you want to know, she’s a lot more honest when she’s drunk,” he joked and Cullen reluctantly nodded. “Go see a healer about your nose.” Then he carried me off to the cabin from before and set me down on the bed and tucked me in. When he turned to go I grabbed his hand and whined. “What?” he asked as he leaned down.

“Don’t go,” I slurred and tried to pull him back. He sat down on the side of my bed, still holding my hand. 

“Why not?” he asked.

“You’ll keep the bad templars away,” I murmured as I lost consciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

I was back in Kirkwall. I walked through the halls that lead outside, praying that Samson wasn’t there. As I stepped outside I saw that it was cloudy and looked like it might rain so I stayed under the awning for when it started. I looked around and saw that there were few mages outside and most of the ones out were tranquil. The rest were templars. I tried to see where Samson was since he was usually out here, but couldn’t find him. 

“Why is a pretty mage like you out here when it could rain at any moment?” I heard someone behind me ask. I turned around and saw a templar in full helm staring at me.

“I-I like the fresh air,” I explained, trying to sound as calm as possible. I couldn’t see his expression so I don’t know if I was successful. 

“Is that right?” he asked after a while and the tone in his voice put me off ease. I started to back away when his arm shot out and grabbed mine. “Why are you leaving? Don’t you know that it’s rude to leave your betters?” he asks as he drags me closer to him.

“I-I have duties to attend to, ser,” I tried to pull away but he was to strong. 

“Your only duty is to serve your betters, mage,” he growled at me and shoved me into a corner. I opened my mouth to scream and he slapped me with the back of his gauntleted hand. “Now, little girl, I want you on your knees.” I froze and whimpered as I looked around him for a way out. He raised his arm again and I flinched back as I readied myself for another blow but it never came. I looked up to see Samson holding that other man’s hand and glaring him down. Even though I hated Samson, I couldn’t be more grateful for his timely arrival. 

“You will leave this mage alone or I will have you escorted to the Knight-Captain myself,” he growled out and the man grunted and left after ripping his arm out of Samson’s grip. Then Samson turned to me with a blank expression. 

“I-I didn’t do anything,” I whispered and looked down and away. He grabbed my jaw and forced me to look up. He eyed the bruise on my cheek.

“Come with me,” he said and started to walk without even checking to see if I was following. Of course I followed. He lead me to his room and went into the washroom. I started to undress like I was trained and was naked by the time he came back but he paused in the doorway. I thought I did something wrong and looked down at myself. When I looked back up Samson was in front of me and threw me one the bed. I gasped as he immediately spread my legs and thrusted inside of me hard and roughly, making me cry out. I opened my eyes to see him over me and he bent down to my ears. “Wake up,” he whispered and I felt myself get confused. “Get up,” he said again and slowly the scene before me started to melt away and get hazy until it went fully away.

*  
I sat up immediately and cried out as I looked around panicked. Then I felt large hands pull me into someone’s lap and looked up to see Bull there. He wrapped his arms around me and wiped stray tears from my cheeks.

“Bull?” I asked as I blinked rapidly, trying to stop crying.

“I’m here. No one’s gonna hurt you anymore. On that you have my word,” he whispered to me and I clung to him as I broke down on his chest for the rest of the night and told him everything.


	12. Chapter 12

Bull sat there with me in his lap as he heard me tell my story. I told him of how I was taken from my family, my first circle, transferring, and how I met Samson. I told him of how I was thrown down and blackmailed. Of the weekly meetings and how he would share me but mostly I was hands-off. He played games, interrupted my learning, denied my meals. About how I almost had no other outside contact besides him. I told him about how I was used again and again. About how I thought that was what love was and how it was supposed to be like that. He just sat there and rubbed my back as he silently listened. When I started to cry, he rocked me back and forth like I was a child and I just clung to him tighter as I sobbed harder. When I was done crying, I didn’t know what time it was. Bull set me back down on the bed and got up. 

“Where are you going?” I asked, sitting up and reaching out to him. He grabbed my hands and set them at my side 

“I’m not leaving you,” he spoke softly and ran his thumb down my cheek. Then he went to the other side of the room and put something in the wash bin and when he came back he started to lightly run a wet cloth across my eyes and down my cheeks. 

“What are you doing?” I asked when he started on the second eye.

“I thought that you wouldn’t want anyone to notice that you were crying. That could raise questions about why and I’m sure Cullen would want to know everything,” he answered as he finished washing my face. I nodded shyly and he smirked as he helped me up again. “Are you hungry?” he asked as he lead me to the door. I nodded and he opened it. The sun was going back down.

“We were in there all day?” I asked as he lead me to the fire. 

“Yeah. You slept mostly and then you let out years of emotion in several hours,” he explained when we reached the fire. “Sit. I’ll get the food.” I sat down and a woman I’ve never met before sat down next to me. She had long brown haired and blue eyes. The tattoos on her face covered her forehead and spread out from her nose. 

“I’m Ashana. You are?” she asked kindly. 

“I’m Cecilla. Cullen’s sister, but I’m sure he hasn’t-”

“You’re Cullen’s sister?! I’ve been meaning to speak to you sooner! What was the emergency that made him have to leave? It didn’t seem like he wanted to so I had to order him,” Ashana started rambling but I just tuned her out. He didn’t want me? I started down and tried to tune her out. “Cecilla?” she asked and I looked over at her.

“Sorry. I just didn’t know that Cullen doesn’t want me,” I answer and Bull comes back just as Ashana starts to stare at me in shock with her mouth hung open.

“Did I miss something?” he asked as he held out my bowl of soup.

“Just my appetite. I just found out that Cullen didn’t want me,” I gestured to Ashana and she flinched when she heard Cullen shout from behind us.

“What?!”


	13. Chapter 13

“You told her what?!” he shouted at Ashana and she jumped up off the log with her hands raised in front of her.

“I didn’t tell her anything!” she shouted back. Cullen rounded on her, turning his back to me and continued to yell at her. I got up and started to leave when Bull appeared in front of me.

“Where are you going?” he asked as he crossed his arms.

“I’m leaving,” I answer simply and turn to walk around him but he blocked my path again. 

“I don’t think you want to leave. Not without hearing the whole story,” he spoke with determination and I could tell that he won’t let it drop. I sighed and turned around to see that Cullen has calmed down a bit and Ashana was more sure of herself. She gestured to me and Cullen looked over is. He turned all the way around when he saw that I moved away and walked towards me. When he reached out to me, I took a step back but only to run into Bull. Cullen sighed and dropped his hand.

“Cecilla, Ashana doesn’t know what she’s talking about and I would rather discuss this in private,” he spoke softly and I heard movement above me. Cullen left to the huge building further into the town and when we entered he lead me down the long hallway to a room with a huge map on it. Leliana and Josephine were in the room talking but paused when they saw us come in.

“Ah, Cecilla! It’s lovely to see you again,” Josephine spoke kindly and bowed her head to the others. 

“I do hope you are feeling better?” Leliana inquired and when I just stared at her, she nodded to me as if she understood. 

“I only wish to say this once,” he looked at me and then at the others. “I was a templar in the Ferelden circle. That’s why you had to transfer. Then I had to move to Kirkwall for thirteen years. You might have been there, I didn’t pay much attention to personal details. I stood with the Champion in the end and helped her take down Meredith. Afterwards, I came here and started to control the forming of an army. I’ve stripped myself from the title of Templar. I no longer take lyrium. The first I’ve heard of you is when I walked in our parents’ home and mother first said you’re name. I didn’t want to go home since I needed to be focused on work but I did….and it was the best decision I’ve ever made,” he ended as he walked up to me and smiled sadly. I didn’t realize I was crying until he reached up and wiped some of my tears away. 

“You mean that?” I whispered and my lip trembled. He pulled me into a hug and rocked me back and forth.

“I mean every word, Cecilla. I love you. Even if you’re slow on certain parts because of things that you aren’t ready to tell me. You’ll tell me when you’re ready. I’ll take care of you for however long you need me to, no questions asked.”


	14. Chapter 14

He rocked me for a while longer until the door reopened and Ashana came through. Cullen glared at her and she sighed.

“Cullen, I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t know that she didn’t know the details,” she explained and my brother loosened his grip on me but didn’t let go. 

“You didn’t know,” he sighed and I nodded. “It’s alright, Herald. I just want to be clear on certain things,” he said sternly and I suppose she nodded because Cullen relaxed even more. 

“I believe that some plans need to be made on her care,” I heard Leliana say and Cullen released me and turned towards her.

“What do you mean?” he asked, even more defensive. 

“We have her records from the remains of Kirkwall and the other circles she was in. Her mind is in need of special treatment and she can’t get most of that here,” she said as she looked over at me with sorrow in her eyes. I looked up at Cullen to see him turn to look down at me. I whimpered and buried my face in is fully coat. His arms tightened around me again and kissed the top of my head. 

“Where do we get it?” he asked her.

“I believe there are several tranquil here who will be able to help. Along with you and your family,” she answered.

“I read the overall report and there are some things you need to be aware of, Cullen,” Josephine interrupted and I shook my head against his chest. 

Maybe Cecilla should eat something,” I heard Bull behind me and Cullen let go of me.

“You’re right. Cecilla, I want you to go eat, alright?” Cullen asked me as he held me at arm's length. When I nodded he handed me over to Bull and he lead me out of the room.

“I-I don’t want you to know!”I suddenly cry out to Cullen and he smiles softly as he comes over.

“We need to discuss troops movements. I won’t hear anything about you from anyone other than you. You will tell me,” he says as he grabs my hands and holds them. 

“You won’t?” I whisper and Bull rubs my back as Cullen wipes tears I didn’t know were falling and pulls me in to kiss my cheeks. 

“I promise,” he said as he pulled away and Bull escorted me back to the fire to pick up soup, then back to my cabin to eat.


	15. Chapter 15

I walked in and sat at the desk. Bull put the bowl of soup in front of me and crossed his arms until I started to eat. Then he crouched next to me and rubbed my back until I was finished. I set the bowl down on the table and looked over at him. He was my height even in the position he was in. 

“What do you want to do now?” he asked. I shrugged and looked down at my lap.

“I don’t have much experience with free time,” I told him and he chuckled. 

“Then I suppose I should help you find someone who has a lot of it,” he said as he stood and held out a hand for me. I took it and he took me out of the house to the fire from before. Varric sat there, writing something on paper. 

“You want me to be with Varric?” I asked and Varric looked up.

“I have to train my boys and since they’re out of the gate, I need you to be with him,” he explained. 

“Don’t I get a say in this tiny?” Varric asked as he put away some of the paper. 

“Nope. Make sure she doesn’t sneak off and no templars are around her,” Bull said before patting my head and leaving. I sat next to Varric and looked over at Bull as he was leaving. 

“I think he just wants you to have more of a social life,” Varric piped up and chuckled as I looked at him in confusion. “You don’t talk to anyone other than Bull, Cullen, or some of the other advisors. It’s nice to have friends,” he finished and I shrugged.

“I’m not used to it,” I say and he shook is head. 

“You won’t be able to say that for long. Come on, it’s cold out here,” he said as he stood and took my hand like Bull did so he could lead be into the Tavern. 

“I’ve been told not to serve you anymore, Cecilia. Cullen’s orders,” I heard Flissa call out to me.

“She’ll only be having water tonight,” Varric answered for me and sat me down at a table with Solas. 

“I am relieved that you are feeling well enough to join us. I feared this would be an overwhelming experience,” he said as I sat down and Flissa brought over some water. 

“Tiny left her with me so I brought her inside where she can be warm,” Varric explained and Solas nodded. 

“Have you eaten?” Solas asked me. 

“Bull wouldn’t let me leave until I finished” I told him and Varric chuckled. 

“I’ll bet,” Varric smirked into is cup. Suddenly a woman in armor came over.

“Get ready to leave in a few days. We are leaving for Val Royeaux.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this has taken this long. I am also sorry to say that I have to take the month of March off. I have to study for the ACT and my depression is getting worse so I'll be seeking help for that.


	16. Chapter 16

“You’re leaving for Val Royeaux?” I ask the people at the table and they shrug. 

“Apparently. Why are we leaving so soon, Cassandra?” Solas asked her after he drank some of his drink. 

“We need to speak with the Grand Clerics as soon as possible,” she explained. When she finished talking, she finally noticed me. “Oh. I’m so sorry, Cecilia. I didn’t realize you were here.”

“It’s alright. I’m used to not being noticed,” I explain and she blushes while Solas looks sad and Varric looks uncomfortable. 

“T-That’s not it. I was under the impression that you would be in bed by now,” she stammered as she blushed. 

“Bull wants her to learn to be more social. Learn to interact with other people,” Solas explained. 

“That his a good skill. Although, I do not believe that Varric would be the best of influences,” she responded.

“I’m hurt, seeker. How could you possibly say that about me?” Varric said jokingly.

“Because you lie and make up stories to get out of trouble,” she said while she crossed her arm's.

“I create stories to entertain people. It’s a talent and something I have no control over,” he said while he drank from his cup.

“I prefer her to be in bed,” Cassandra insisted and motioned for me to follow her so I stood.

“Hang on, now,” Varric called out while Solas lightly pulled me back to my seat. “She can do what she wants. She’s a grown woman and Tiny wouldn’t have left her with me if he didn’t see that she would do fine,” Varric argued and Cassandra glared at him. Solas rubbed my back and brought my cup of water into my field of vision. I took it and drank a big gulp. 

“I doubt Cullen would approve,” she insisted and that’s when Solas spoke up. 

“If Cullen has a problem with it he should come here himself to tell her. Cecilia his a person. Not a pet that you can put to bed or make to do this and that,” he practically growled out at her. She looked taken aback at the amount of resistance she was receiving and left, no doubt to find my brother. 

“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I said as I tried to get up from my chair.

“We won’t. You’re a grown woman and you need to learn to make these kinds of decisions,” Varric said.

“You decide what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. Then you act accordingly. If you wanted to stay, all you had to do was tell Cassandra no. Same with anyone else,” Solas confirmed and I relaxed. 

“You’re sure you won’t get in trouble for this?” I ask as I get comfortable in my chair again. 

“Positive,” Varric says. We sit there talking for the next half hour before Bull comes into the tavern and sees us.

“Are you here to take her back, TIny?” Varric asked him as he reached us.

“Depends on if she wants go,” he said looking down at me. I shook my head as I yawned and he chuckled.

“I think you need to sleep more than have fun this time,” Varric says as he takes my cup away from and Bull helps me up. 

“But I’m not tired,” I mumble out and Bull laughs again as he picks me up like a child.

“Thanks for watching her, Varric. I had to do something for Krem,” he explained as he started to leave. When he walked out we ran into Cassandra and Cullen.

“Why was she in the tavern?” Cullen asked confused.

“She needed to be a social until she became tired given what she’s had to remember today,” Bull told him and Cullen seemed to accept that response. 

“You were under the impression that she was in bed and you’re okay with her being surrounded by drunks?” Cassandra asked him and Cullen glared at her. 

“I gave her into Bull’s care and she is my sister. I will help her decide what to do and if anyone is going to be ordering her around, it’ll be me. Not you,” he growled out at her and I reached out and, like a child, waved my hand up and down trying to reach him. I finally grabbed onto his coat and pull. He turned to look at me and I leaned over to try and get to him. He quickly pushed his arms out and caught me before I could fall into the snow. 

“I’m tired,” I mumbled into his shoulder and he chuckled. 

“I’m going to get you to bed now,” he said as he held me close and glared at Cassandra one last time before walking me back to my cabin. He gently kicked open the door open and set me down on my bed. He went back and closed the door. 

“Will you stay with me?” I ask as he reached me again.

“I will if you want me to. You don’t like sleeping alone?” he asked as he relit the fire and then covered me up with the blankets. I shook my head and he smiled as he sat on the side of my bed. “Well, I’ll be here every night from now on, I promise,” he said as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know where I want to go with this story and it's not gonna be happy for a few chapters when I get there. For now, Fluff and trying to get over fear.

When the time came for the Herald, Cassandra, Solas, and Varric to leave for Val Royeaux, Ashana came by to see me. 

“I am sorry for causing trouble,” she said sincerely. 

“I know. It was bound to happen sooner or later,” I reply without looking up at her. She gently grabbed my chin and tilted my face until we made eye contact. She looked sad and concerned.

“I’m trying,” was all I was able to say and she just nodded. 

“Well we should be off soon,” she said when she let go of me.

“Can I come? I’ve never been to Orlais,” I ask as Cullen starts to make his way over. 

“I don’t think it’s safe right now. But I’ll definitely take you there when things calm down a little with the Chantry, alright?” she asks as she smiles at how my face lite up at the offer and nodded vigorously. 

“Where will you be taking her?” Cullen asked as he smiled at my reaction too.

“Ashana’s going to take me to Val Royoux when things calm down a bit,” I say and she shakes his head in as if he doesn’t understand why.

“I’m going to take her shopping for new clothes that she’ll get to pick,” Ashana explains and Cullen rolls his eyes. 

“I don’t understand why girls love shopping,” he mumbled, making Ashana blush and laugh a little. 

“Well, I do have to get going before Cassandra comes here to drag me there,” she said as she turned to leave.

“I….ugh...hope you have a safe journey,” Cullen stammered and she giggled as he turned red. 

“I don’t think I could have made that go worse,” he groused and I looked at him in confusion.

“She likes you,” I tell him and he looks at me weird. “She does. She thinks your awkwardness makes you appear more approachable and she thinks it’s cute,” I finish and he blushes harder.

“L-Let’s get going,” he says as he leads me through the front gate. I follow him through the gate and over to the training grounds.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as we approached a man in templar armor.

“I am going to help you get over your fear. Rylen here, used to be a templar with me. He’s not going to hurt you and I won’t leave you alone with him for now,” Cullen said and I nodded after I grabbed got behind him and clung to his furry coat. 

“I will not harm you, miss,” Rylen said as he bowed and Cullen put his arm around me and started to lead me through the camp.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Something BAD!

I clung to Cullen as we walked through the training soldiers . He smiled at me reassuringly and I nodded as I looked around again. No one was really paying attention to me. We reached where he would usually stand and he let go of me and to work. I looked around the outside and saw how much snow was around where no one walked. It looked light a white blanket. I saw a rabbit at the end of camp and watched it. It started to hop away a little but it looked back at me and I inched forward. It hopped farther and I followed slowly. It seemed like a game. When it ran off I followed as quietly as I could until I couldn’t hear the sound of the soldiers anymore and the bunny was missing. I looked around and I couldn’t see anything other trees and snow. 

“Cullen!” I called out but the only answer was the wind. I tried to see where it was I came from but everything looked the same. I started to walk in the direction where my footprints were but they soon ran out from the snow falling. I looked up at the clouds and heavy snowflakes.

“Why did it start to snow more now?” I mumbled and kept walking straight. After what felt like an hour of walking I knew I was lost and didn’t know where to go. The snowstorm got worse as time went on and the snow on the ground was almost to my knees. I looked around me and saw a cave not to far from where I was currently standing. I slowly made my way to it and stumbled inside. I tried to go deeper into the cave but it was dark. When I made a small flame in my hand, the wind blew it out.

“Makers balls,” I muttered frustrated and lined myself up with the wall as I went deeper in. When I could no longer feel the wind at my back from the opening, I could hear voices from inside the cave. I slowed my pace but soon saw a lit fire pit and looked around the corner to see men wearing armor. Some had staffs and others had swords. 

“When is the Elder One going to be ready?” one of the ones surrounding a table asked.

“When he finds out where the Anchor went. It’s necessary for him to enter the fade,” one answered.

“We should be close then. A woman apparently has it one her hand but I’ve never seen it.”

“Then how are we close?” someone asked, seemly irritated. 

“Because she lives in the town that’s not even half a day's walk to the east from here,” was the answer he got and I nodded as I back away.

“Half a day’s walk east,” I muttered and started to back away as quietly as I could to the opening of the cave when I hit something sharp and metal. It pushed forward and I followed it. When it brought me back to the corner, I tried to stop but the person that’s been pushing me forward shoved me down to the ground past the corner.

“I found a spy, gentlemen.”


	19. Chapter 19

I scrambled to my feet but a prison spell was cast around me and I found that I couldn’t move at all, much less speak. My eyes darted around the men that came forward.

“She’s wearing mage's robe,” one commented.

“The only town around here is Haven. Maybe she’s from there,” another said.

“Either way, I don’t see her being of use for us,” the one that looked in charge said dismissively. 

“I think she’s pretty,” the one behind me said and my breathing picked up.

“Oh, she doesn’t like the sound of that,” my right side said.

“If she’s from Haven, maybe she’s seen the woman with the Anchor?” the one on my left asked and the leader tilted his head to the side, looking me up and down.

“Perhaps,” he said eventually. “Put the pretty bird in the cage for now. We’ll see what she has to say later,” he said and turned back to the map. The prison fell away but the guards on my right and left sides grabbed my arms and dragged me over the a cage. When I struggled and tried to use my magic the sword from before pressed into my back again.

“She is a mage,” one called and went over to a chest. When he came back he held two cuffs and grabbed one of my hands before shoving one cuff over it and strapped it to my wrist. I felt my connection to the fade be cut off and tried harder to release my other one before it was strapped as well and they shoved me into the cage and locked the door. 

“Don’t try to remove the cuffs, birdie,” the one with the sword told me. “It’ll do this really nasty electric shock throughout your body,” he finished with a mean grin.

 

***

 

“Commander! The lady ambassador has asked for your sister’s assistance,” a messenger called out as he ran to me. I looked over to where the last place I saw Cecilia and she wasn’t there.

“Cecilia?” I call out but there was no response.

“Cecilia?” I call out louder but there was still nothing. I turned to the messenger. “Tell Josephine that my sister has gone off on her own and get Leliana here, now,” I bark out and the boy ran off as started to walk in the direction I last saw her. She better be just lost, I thought to myself and stopped when I saw a rabbit that looked similar to the one before.

“Where do you think she went?” I heard Leliana ask as she approached me from behind. 

“Straight ahead,” I told her.

“Why?” 

“This is the same rabbit as before. My guess is she chased it into the woods,” I told her and she motioned for several of her spies to look.

“She’s going to be alright, Cullen,” she spoke softly and looked sincere. 

“How? She has no survival skills, no idea what’s in the area, and no idea what she’s doing,” my voice started to get louder as I started talking. 

“We’ll find her, Cullen. She may not know the area, but we do.” She paused for a moment and looked down at the rabbit. “You say that this is the same one as before?” she asked me.

“Yes. She was playing with a rabbit with grey fur and about that size,” I answered. “Why?” I asked as I looked up at her.

“If this is the same one as before, this is magic. Not nature,” she said and turned to the other side of the training grounds. “Cassandra!” She called out. Shortly after the call, Cassandra came out from around the tents. 

“Yes, Leliana?” she asked as she came over.

“Kill this rabbit for me,” she said and I looked at her just as confused as Cassandra was.

“What?” she asked.

“Trust me,” Leliana implied and Cassandra pulled her sword and stabbed the rabbit. Cassandra looked up at Leliana, but she was staring right at the rabbit. When I looked back at it, I noticed it was slowly disappearing. 

“What?” I asked in disbelief and I looked up and I saw the same exact rabbit hop out from behind a tree and come stand where it was right before.

“I believe she was lead out of camp, but for what purpose I do not yet know,” Leliana said allowed and I had a sudden urge to rip someone limb from limb.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild torture. Nothing very graphic

I watched the men around the table and heard them talk about many things. I did try to remove the cuffs and my voice went hoarse from screaming because of the pain. My hands also burned when I tried to touch the lock on the cage door. Eventually, I just stopped trying to escape and couldn’t stop the hopeless feeling that came over me. I sat in the back of the cage with my knees brought up to my chest and my hands in between me and them. It felt like hours before one of the men came over to me while the others removed what was on the table. When the cell door opened and he came inside I tried to shuffle even farther back but couldn’t. He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me over to the table. The other two men shoved me onto it with my back on the wood. Then they strapped the cuffs on my hands the table somehow and I couldn’t move. I pulled and pulled but whatever was holding me back wouldn’t budge.

“Oh don’t struggle, birdie. It’s no fun when they wear themselves out to soon,” one of them said to me and I whimpered as his face came closer and smelled my hair. “You smell like strawberries,” he murmured and withdrew. 

“I love it when they’re scared,” the one on my left said as he drew a knife from his back. I try to pull away again but he just chuckled. Suddenly I felt hands slowly running up my legs, pushing the skirt up with them. I started to try and kick him away and thrash around until I felt the knife slide against my cheek. I froze and my vision became blurry as tears filled my eyes. 

“You’re going to cry now? We haven’t even started yet,” the one that seemed like the leader said as he ripped open my robes so there was only my small clothes and bra to keep my covered. “Now I want some answers, little birdie. So you can sing the easy way or the hard way,” he told me as he took the knife from the man across the table from him. 

“I-I don’t know anything,” I whimper as my breathing escalates. 

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Cecilla,” I whisper and I flinch as he strokes my hair.

“Your family name,” he clarifies and I look back and forth between the two men standing next to the table.

“R-Rutherford,” I manage to get out and I watch as their heads snap up to each other. 

“The commander's name,” the one at my left commented. 

“What is your relationship with him?” The one at my feet asks. 

“He’s my brother,” I whisper.

“Do you know the Herald?” someone asked me and I nodded. “Tell us about her,” he commanded and I shook my head.

“You want to have fun?” one of them said as I felt him cutting into my legs. I screamed and try to kick him away but the other two men held me down as he carved some sort or symbol into both of my legs. I was so tired from fighting when he was done and I couldn’t scream anymore. Only cry. 

“Let’s try this again. What do you know about the herald?” I shake my head again whimper as I feel them draw magic from the blood on my legs. “You will tell us one way or another,” one says and I feel him trying to enter my mind. After a few minutes, he gets back out. 

“Her mind is still intact,” he told the others.

“She’s been tortured before,” one commented.

“Then break her. I’ll go out and see if anyone has noticed she’s missing,” the leader said as he started to leave.

“Why bother leaving? Even as the commander’s sister, they probably think she can take care of herself. No one will come looking for her,” one called after him but the leader didn’t stop.

“Isn’t that right, birdie? You’re not important enough to look for.”

“Let’s hear you sing some more.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Have you heard any word Leliana?” I asked as she approached me. I couldn’t keep the apprehension out of my voice. 

“I have not. My scouts are still circling Haven though,” she said reassuringly. 

“I should’ve watched more closely. I promised our mother that she would be safe. Now…” I trail off looking out at the woods.

“We will find her, Cullen. Josephine has nobles helping in that regard as well. We may not have known her long, but she managed to reach our hearts all the same,” Leliana spoke softly. 

“It’s been days. She could be dead. She doesn’t understand danger the way she should. What if she stumbled onto something she shouldn’t have?” I couldn’t stop fear from growing and growing inside me.

“It does no good to wonder. The only thing that matters is that we find her. Then we can ask her,” Leliana was saying as a scout came running up to us.

“Lady Nightingale! We found a cave that has part of her clothing the day she went missing,” he said as he held out the bottom part of her robe.

“This is her’s,” I say stunned and he I glare at the scout. “Why didn’t you bring her?” 

“The cave is blocked by blood magic sir. None of us could get in and we feared if we tried, we would alert the ones inside,” he answered and I turned to Leliana. 

“I believe it is time to see where our own angle has gone off to.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! I had the band trip with crappy wifi and then I had to bake for 200 people so I've been busy. Hope you like it, I didn't have much time.

I was laying in the cage when I woke up. My robes didn’t cover much anymore and barely held together. The lashes from their whips were still new and bleeding out. I had several more carved symbols in my arms and legs. I didn’t know what they meant but I didn’t like looking at them. The cuffs were now rubbing against bone instead of skin and I didn’t like moving. I didn’t even have the energy to open my eyes. 

“Are you sure it’s wise to keep her?” I heard one of them ask.

“It’s not like anyone’s looking for her. Useless mage like that? Nobody will miss her,” was the response.

“Besides, she a fun toy. Won’t last much longer though. Maybe we’ll feed her to the dogs,” was another. I tried to hold in a whimper, but a small slipped out. I didn’t hear anything, so I suppose no one noticed. After a few days, I started to believe what they were saying was true. I was worthless. I was a nobody. Cullen barely knew me so I figured that he wouldn’t miss me. I didn’t really make any friends while I was in Haven. Just talked to some people every now and then. No one will miss me when I die here.

Days late I awoke to the guard from the front running into the room.

“Inquisitions soldiers are near,” he practically fumed. 

“Gather the maps and the packs of supplies. We’ve been here to long,” the leader ordered and the other two started to run around while he walked over to me. When he opened the door, I whimpered and tried to back away but I didn’t have any strength. 

“We bringing her?” the guard asked.

“I don’t think we can afford to drag her along,” he answered and I looked up hesitantly. “But that doesn’t mean we want her telling anyone what we’ve said.” He took a knife from his back and cut off a piece of my hair before closing and locking the cage again. “We’ll take the key. Not like she has the energy to try and open it anymore,” he said as he grabbed his pack and walked out with the other three men. I couldn’t move and whimpered quietly thinking that I was going to die here, unfound. Soon after the fires when put in the cave, I became very cold. I shivered until I couldn’t feel anymore and fell asleep. 

 

~*~

 

I couldn’t open my eyes but I could hear muffled voices. I whimpered as I heard the lock on the cage being tinkered with. More muffled voices that I couldn’t hear or understand very well. The door opened and someone touched my shoulder and I couldn’t help but cry out. The hand went away and it was replaced with a barrier of magic. I screamed as my body was lifted into someone’s arms and carried out of the cave. When the cold wind assaulted me, I passed out again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff!

I woke up on something soft and covered in something warm. I was wearing real robes instead of the rags I was used to. I was finally able to hear someone crying next to me. I realized it was a woman and tried to open my eyes but found that I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy to move either. I felt someone remove the blankets and unwrap something around my arms. Then I felt something cool being spread onto the cuts. I wanted to flinch and whimper but i couldn’t. 

“Why isn’t she awake?” I heard a woman ask. The crying stopped so I assumed that she was the only person left. 

“The blood loss alone is a miracle. A normal person would be dead. Probably why they left her there,” the man explained. I didn’t recognize his voice.

“Do you know when she’ll wake?” the woman asked. I recognized that voice. I only talked with her a couple of times but it’s familiar. Ashana. It was Ashana’s voice! If she’s here then I knew I was safe. 

“It’s in the Maker’s hands now, herald. Do you think Cullen will come by soon?” he asked as he rewrapped my arm's. 

“He has for the past few days. I don’t know why he would stop now,” she replied and I heard creaking from the woman next to me. Maybe Ashana was standing. 

“He needs to rest and eat. He won’t listen to me. Maybe you can, I don’t know, order him to or something.” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Ashana promised while laughing. “Take care of her, please? She’s been through enough,” she asked the man.

“I promise to heal her wounds, new and old, and do what I can,” he replied. The door opened and then closed again. I started to grow tired again and fully went into the darkness. 

I awoke again, fully, this time. The sun was down so it was dark outside. I tried to sit up but my arms wouldn’t hold me. I fell back down onto the bed and while it was soft, my back wasn’t fully healed. I screamed as I felt the scars stretch and compress. I tried to hold in tears but i couldn’t from the pain. Suddenly, the door flew open and I saw Cullen rushing towards me. He gentling wrapped his arm around my shoulders, where there were the least amount of injuries and lifted me up so my wounds weren’t rubbing against the bed any longer. 

“C-Cul-” I broke into a coughing fit and clung to him weakly with my left arm. 

“Adan!” he called out and a man wearing mage robes with a beard came running in. He quickly handed Cullen a glass of water while he went to a chest for something. Cullen slowly brought the cup of water to my mouth and I drank it slowly. 

“We’ll need her on her front, Cullen,” Adan ordered and Cullen took the cup away from me and set it down somewhere I couldn’t see. 

“I’m going to turn you over now, Cecilla. This is going to hurt but we need to look at your back, alright?” he asked me and I whimpered and nodded. He removed the blankets and slowly turned me over onto my front. I cried out as I settled and he shushed me quietly. “You’re okay now,” he told me and I nodded. “I’m going to have to untie the back of your gown. We need to look at your back. Just your back, I promise. Alright, Cecilla?” he asked me and I flinched away a little. “It’ll numb your back. You won’t feel anymore pain,” Cullen explained and I slowly nodded. He made sure to stay in my line of sight as he untied the grown until he reached the small of my back. Adan came over then and opened it so he could see everything. Cullen crouched back down and held my hand as Adan spread something cool all over my back. I cried in relief and Cullen wiped away my tears. When Adan was done and set the cream aside and passed Cullen a small pouch of candy. 

“She needs to eat, Cullen. Her back has to dry before we can cover her back up,” he explained and he nodded and turned back to me.

“I got you some sweets her, Cecilla. Do you still like candy?” he asked as he took one out and I nodded. I brought it up to my mouth and I opened it. He put it in and told me not to chew. When I started to cry again and looked worried. “What’s wrong?” he asked and I clung to his hand tighter.

“You came.”


	24. Chapter 24

He looked like he was about to cry and, as gently as he could, picked me up from the bed. I cried out softly and he set me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried. 

“What made you think I wouldn’t come?” he asked softly as he rocked me back and forth. 

“They told me that I didn’t matter….and….I would die alone in that cage, unmissed,” I cried into his neck and he kissed the top of my head. 

“I would mourn you for the rest of my life,” he choked out as he set his head on top of mine. I continued to cry and he murmured assurances and sweet words to me until I stopped. 

“You would really miss me?” I asked as I looked up at him when he pulled back.

“Of course I would miss you! Everyone who as met you would miss you,” he says as he brushes hair from my face. 

“I hardly talked to anyone though,” I try to remember but it’s fuzzy.

“You’ve talked to Cassandra and Josephine. There’s also Solas and Leliana. Varric and Iron Bull would miss you like crazy,” he murmured and shook his head. I looked up at him confused. 

“Why would those two miss me like crazy?” I asked as he sighed.

“While you were missing, Varric told me that you remind him of someone he loved when he was younger and Bull wouldn’t explain. He was the first one to find you in the cage. He walked in there and when he saw you to Haven, took his Chargers and is still on the hunt for the men who did this,” Cullen said and I looked shocked.

“He barely knew me,” I murmured and Cullen chuckled. 

“Whatever you told him made me feel protective of you,” he said as he made to put me back on the bed.

“Can I go see Varric?” I asked right before he sets me down.

“You shouldn’t go anywhere,” I heard him say at the door. I looked around Cullen to see Varric walking towards us. 

“I’ll leave you be,” Cullen said as he walked away and I whined, but Varric lightly held my hand.

“I’m here angle,” he said as Cullen closed the door.

“I hear you missed me,” I softly say and he chuckles.

“I most certainly did. You’re too sweet and curious to be here,” he finished sadly. 

“I’m sweet?” I asked and he just shook his head.

“The sweetest thing in the world. I could didn’t sleep while you were gone,” he explained and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. 

“How did you find me?” I asked.

“One of Leliana’s scouts found part of your robes outside of a cave. Bull was the first one in, followed right behind Cullen. No one was in the cave other than you. My hands were shaking so much, opening the lock was a pain. Once I got it opened Bull lifted you up Cullen ran ahead to get the healers ready. I’ve never seen Bull so upset. He didn’t say a word,” he finished quietly and I whimpered.

“I didn’t mean to get lost,” I whine and he shushes me and kisses my forehead.

“Nobody thinks you did this on purpose. We’re just happy you’re back,” he told me as he passed me some water. I drank it and he put the cup back down.

“I don’t want to be alone,” I whisper and he looks at me with understanding. 

“You’re not going to be alone for a long time to come,” he says as I quickly fall asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

I wake up to someone wrapping my right arm in something and a whimper escapes my mouth before I can stop it. A hand strokes some hair away from my eyes and when I open them I see Solas sitting in a chair by my bed. I smile as much as I am able up at him and he smiles back.

“Once you woke up the first time, Ashana wanted you to be with someone who could give you care without neglecting other patients,” he told me and helped me to sit up. I stayed in the bed, but I was able to lightly press my back to the wall.

“So where am I?” I asked him as I looked around.

“You’re in my cabin. Your brother wasn’t to pleased with the arrangement but once it was explained to him that I won’t do anything to you, he while still grumpy, he accepted,” he explained and I smiled.

“He came for me,” I said and looked down at my hands. The wrapping looked freshly done and I was able to move them a little with barely any pain.

“All that were here did. Ashana, Cassandra, and I were out recruiting a warden before we got news of what happened to you. I was told that Cullen found you first with Bull and his chargers along with Leliana. Bull returned only a short while ago and I told him that he needed rest before I would let him see you,” Solas told me and I looked up shocked. 

“Bull came straight here?” 

“After days of hunting down and finally killing the men who did this to you, he was exhausted. He demanded to know how you were and I told him you were recovering. He didn’t seem to happy with my answer and went off, hopefully to sleep,” Solas answered. I smiled a little and looked down at my hands. 

“Can he come now?” I tentatively ask and I hear a deep chuckle. I look up to see Bull sitting outside the window with his head barely inside. “Bull!” I cried out and tried to get up but Solas pushed me back down and the door opened with Bull stepping through it. 

“What? I’ve rested,” he told Solas when he glared at the huge man. 

“Sitting outside the window does not count,” Solas argued calmly and I smiled.

“Seems enough for her,” Bull said, waving his hand towards me. Solas turned to face me and tried to hide his smile.

“Very well. I will go get you dinner,” he said to me and left. Bull came up and sat on the bed next to me. When his huge hand came up and stroked my face lightly, I broke down into sobs. He gently picked me up and put me in his lap.

“Hey. There’s no need to cry,” he spoke softly and rocked me back and forth gently. 

“Th-they told me that no one would miss me,” I sobbed and I felt Bull hug me to him tighter.

“Everyone would miss you,” he murmured.

“They wanted to know about Ashana and Cullen. I didn’t want to tell them about Cullen but I didn’t know anything about the Inquisition,” I told him.

“They didn’t believe you,” he stated more than asked but I nodded anyway.

“Eventually it just became fun for them and they stopped asking me questions. The guards was the one that used me daily and the men in robes just cut and burned me,” I explained and I felt Bull’s growl in his chest.

“I wish I killed them slower.”

“They kept talking about an Elder One but after a few days, it became muffled and all I heard was buzzing sound if I was even awake anymore. They took my magic,” I whispered and suddenly Bull picked me up with him as he stood. He took me outside the cabin and into the chantry. 

“You,” he called out to a young boy, “ go get the commander, spymaster, ambassador, and the herald into the war. Now.” The young boy ran to obey and Bull set me down on the big table with a map on it. Soon the door open and Josephine stepped in.

“My dear! What are you doing here?” she asked as she rushed towards me to check on me. Leliana came in next and looked confused as to why I was there. Ashana came in before she could as anything and immediately slapped Bull’s arm.

“Why is she here? She needs to be resting!” she exclaimed. 

“She knows special things about who our enemy is what they’re capable of,” he explained and she looked over at me.

“Is that true?” she asked gently. I nodded.

“They often talked like I wasn’t there.” She sighed and nodded. Cullen burst through the door then and looked like he was about to kill Bull right then and there. 

“Why is she here?” he demanded as he made his way to me and looked me over for any open injuries. 

“Bull says that she knows thing about the enemy,” Leliana explains and when he looks over at me, I nod. 

“I also know that they’re tracking her,” Bull pointed out and everyone looked up at him.

“How could they? You killed them,” Ashana asked.

“What they carved into her. Those are tracking symbols. If someone on the other side were to learn she had them on her-”

“-They would be able to learn where she is and when. They can track us,” Leliana finished for him and I whimpered and looked down at my hands.

“None of this is your fault,” Ashana said as she gently wrapped her hands around mine and tilted my face up to her’s.

“We need to get those marking off of her,” Josephine said as she looked over at Leliana.

“I will look into it. For now, let’s help her get used Haven again,” Leliana said and everyone nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late! i just figured out what kind of origin story I wanted to do and have been preoccupied with that.... So instead of updating every week, I'm going to change it to at least twice a month. That way, I'm not pressured and I no longer disappoint.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm soooo late!!!

Ashana sent Bull to bed and helped me off the table.

“Let’s try walking again?” she asked and I nodded while watching Bull leave.

“He needs to rest,” Josephine gently told me and I nodded. Ashana moved her arms up so she was holding me right below my elbows. She gently pulled me forward and I slowly took a step. As I put my weight on my right foot, I would have fallen over had Ashana not been holding me.

“It’s okay,” she told me and helped me take another. When we eventually reached the outside of the chantry, I was able to walk with her at my side. “Are you hungry?” she asked me and I nodded.

“Solas was supposed to bring me lunch,” I explain and she chuckles. 

“Then let's go find him,” she says as she helps me down the stairs. Cullen was behind us the whole time and was quiet until now.

“Shouldn’t she rest some more?” he suggested and Ashana laughed.

“She’s done nothing but rest. She needs to learn how to walk again,” Ashana argued and Cullen didn’t look to pleased.

“Then let me help her the rest of the way,” he argued and Ashana helped hand my arm to Cullen. I smiled up at him and he couldn’t help but smirk back. When we reached the stairs, my knees buckled and I grabbed Cullen by the cloak around his back to keep from falling. He wrapped his arm around my back and under my other arm to stop me. He helped pull me up but I didn’t let go of his cloak, though I did move it higher up for my height. “You’re fine, Cecilla,” he told me softly and I nodded, although I didn’t let go of his cloak. He brought me into the tavern and set me down at the table. Krem came in shortly after and rushed over to us.

“How are you, Cecilla?” he asked as he sat next to me.

“I’m relearning how to walk,” I said with a smile on my face. He smiled back and gently took my hand.

“We didn’t stop until we found them. We slaughtered them,” Krem told me and I nodded, blinking tears from my eyes. He held my hand tighter and Ashana rubs my back for support.

“I’m glad you came,” I whispered to him and he looked at me as serious as he has ever done.

“Always,” he tells me. Then he pulled something from behind him. “I figured you would want this while you recovered though,” he said handing me back the book Bull gave me. I just stare at it in shock.

“I thought you would want to keep it,” I whisper and take it from him. I look down at it and notice it had some dirt on it but not much.

“Bull would have my ass if I didn’t give it back. Plus, I want you to have it. Sorry it’s a little dirty, Bull took it with him when we went looking for you, and when we went to kill those assholes,” he explained and I smiled, although tears started to leak from my eyes. 

“Thank you,” I whisper and reach out for Krem, similar to a child wanting to be hugged. Krem, while surprised, wrapped his arms around me while I wrap my arms around his neck and I cry into his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to change the updating thing from every week to twice a month cause of all the stories I'm working on. I've got an origin story almost ready to put on here and I'm starting a Hawke one!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!


	27. Chapter 27

He held me gently as I cried and I eventually felt myself become exhausted. I leaned against Krem and he supported me as he stood up.

“I think she needs some more rest,” he told Cullen and Ashana. I felt myself being pulled into someone else’s arms and lift up. I looked up and wrapped my arms around Cullen’s neck. I brought my head down to his shoulder and closed my eyes as I felt him nod at someone. He walked out into the cold carrying me like a child and when I shivered at the wind, he rubbed my arms with the the hand on supporting my back to keep me warm. When we reached the cabin, Cullen set me down on the bed and covered me with the blankets. When he started to back away I grabbed his hand and held onto it like my life depended on it.

“Don’t go?” I beg and tears started to stream down my face. Cullen pulled me into the sitting position and wrapped me in his arms. I clung to him as if he could keep the dark thoughts away. He slowly rocked me back and forth as I cried. “Voices started to speak in my head after a while,” I confess.

“What kind of voices?” he asked quietly while holding me tighter. 

“They said that they could free me. That they could give me the power to kill the men hurting me,” I said in between sobs and Cullen tried to sooth me by kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair. “I just wanted it to stop. I didn’t want to kill them, I didn’t want power. I just wanted to come home,” I whimper as my sobs subside.

“Do you still hear them?” Cullen asked softly as he looked down at me.

“Sometimes. Only when I’m sleeping anymore. Sometimes they like to put me back,” I tell him and he made a face like he was going to kill someone.

“Did Solas give you anything for the nightmares?” he asked instead while trying to control his temper.

“I didn’t tell him. I was to tired and sore,” I say as I softly rub the carved symbol on my upper thigh. Cullen takes my hand from there and looks at me with sorrow in his eyes.

“I should’ve been watching you. I am so sorry that this happened. If I was paying attention…” he trails off and I see a tear slip from his right eye and I kiss his cheek to stop the tear from continuing. 

“I’m glad you’re taking care of me,” I tell him and he looks guilty. 

“I wasn’t always the nicest person to mages. Lately I’ve hated them all,” he confesses.

“But you like me,” I point out like that was the answer for him.

“I love you. You’re my older sister even though you may not grow much more than where you are now. You’ve changed my perspective since you’ve been here,” he tells me warmly and I smile. “I might even consider you or treat you like my own child sometimes,” he admits and blushes. 

“I like being your child. You won’t let bad people take me,” I tell him as I lean against him and yawn. 

“It’s time for bed,” he says as he lays me down on the bed and covers me with blankets. 

“I don’t want you to go,” I whine and he smiles.

“I’m just going to tell Solas to keep the demons away tonight. I’ll be back before you know it,” he tell me with another kiss to my forehead and quietly leaves as I fall asleep.


	28. Not an Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me expaining myself

This is not an update! I'm so sorry I've been gone. I've been very busy, working my ass off, not sleeping becuase of it, worrying if I'll have enough money to go to college, ect. Also, I just got dumped. Yay me.... So fighting depression and stress isn't something I recommend. I also have a lot of family stuff going on. My dad is probably about to have a third surgery in as many weeks becuase he got is gal bladder taken out and then infected bacteria moved in and it turned out to be e coli. So he's had a drain in him for a while and today is the last doctor appointment before the doctor decides "Hey, we got to cut you open again." But the liquid hasn't cleaned up and It's not looking good. Needless to say, I've had a lot on my plate and there's not enough hours in the day and stress and just everything has made me so overwhelmed. I'm not useing this as an excuse for not updating, but just as an explanation on why I haven't been updating. I will be updating again soon. I'm not positive when but I am working on all my works paragraphs at a time becuase of everything going on. So you'll be getting an updating by the end of the month hopefully. Might not be long, but it's there. Thank you all for staying with me and if you pray, please pray for me dad. He's 55 years old and it's a lot for him to take on. Thanks so much,  
Seranna Harkon

**Author's Note:**

> Go ahead and comment on which characters or chapters you want drawings in and Ashley will get it done.


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